"Unrest," by Grace Seybold

[Scott H. Andrews]

This thread is to discuss "Unrest," by Grace Seybold, which appears in BCS Issue #12 (http://www.beneath-ceaseless-skies.com/toc.php?s=12) from Mar. 12, 2009.

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[Syrio]

This story is fantastic!

Grace, I understand from the BCS in Blogs forum that this format was experimental for you. Consider it a successful experiment. There is room for improvement where settling the reader into each new POV's gender, but please ditch for good the section header idea. Once I understood the structure even that transitional jarring became exciting rather than offputting. That "what am I looking at here?" sensation was a good thing. This is speculative fiction after all. The exotically artful is what we're here for. And I personally liked rolling this story on its side and enjoying it from different angles. It felt 3D.

[Aliette de Bodard]

I definitely agree. I had no issues with the shifting POVs, but gender was a slight problem. But I do love the way it all comes together at the end.

[Grace Seybold]

Thank you both! I agree about the gender thing; it was one of the edits Scott had me do, to make that clearer, and I do think it's clearer than it was before his editing, although probably it could be clarified further. I'm really glad to hear that the structure works for people.

Yeah, the section header idea is officially ditched. I don't plan to make any further changes to the story anyway; that's one thing that really bugs me, when authors make small changes to a story and there are slightly different versions floating around in different anthologies or whatever. I don't mind major reworkings (Orson Scott Card's "Hot Sleep" vs "The Worthing Saga" for instance, which was changed so much it was really a different book) but when there are just minor changes and I'm left scratching my head going "Wait, I remember this differently but I'm not sure exactly how..." that's irritating. So I've told myself I can't mess with a story once it's in print, and I'm really going to try to stick to that.

[Kenneth Mark Hoover]

I thought the writing was very strong. I liked this one a lot. Powerful ending, good imagery, extremely literate fiction. I def enjoyed it.

[Syrio]

I revisited this story recently, and just wanted to say again how much I enjoy its breadth of perception (in so economical a space!) and its depth of substance.

Truly a magnificent job, Grace.


-Michael